It’s funny how protected the mask helps me feel. My eyes can still betray my thoughts, but I don’t have to smile. Maybe I do smile behind the mask but I don’t acknowledge it since I make concerted efforts to breath without fogging my glasses.
It feels natural to smile when I do not wear a mask; but maybe I smile too much. It must be. So many people misinterpret my intentions as too forward. A scene from the movie “Gigi” comes to mind; when the narrator walked in the park, he passed by many different characters. Of all, the mom driving a carriage with her children was not smiling and had a resolute face and posture. I realize this was mainly for the sake of dramatization, but really. A person who smiles a lot projects a different brand than one with a serious face and demeanor. I have been working on my own demeanor since I have been attending so many video conferences. I compared recordings across weeks and I see huge improvements; now I like the videos. No mask, but being behind a screen feels so close to being protected; like being behind a mask.
Wearing a mask may become a long-term habit that people, including myself, will embrace. Yes, there is the health advantage but there is a social shield advantage as well. In my opinion.
It makes me think of the ladies wearing burkas or hijabs. Muslim women have to cover themselves by law. And in the process, some of them appreciate the protective layer. I wonder if all of them feel protected. One of my friends from Pakistan covers her head every day and told me that she does it because she feels protected. Yep. I believe her. But I also have to admit that there were times when I wished she would let her beautiful hair be shown. She did it when we were by ourselves at my house or hers and were working on research papers.
Then I read “Reading Lolita in Tehran”. My Persian friend gave me the book. Goodness; how much I love that book! An English teacher’s memoir wrote about a book club she organized at her home and had seven lady students join. One of the messages conveyed by the book was reflected in a scene that is stuck with me: the girls arriving one by one, each fully clad in black robes and head coverings, then taking those off to reveal colorful personalities and outfits.
Hm, how about uniforms? I fought hard (in my teenage head, of course) against the uniforms I had to wear all through high school! But I was also thankful because the uniform helped me look like everyone else. I felt protected. This was protection from social class differences and it made a difference for that me.
This thought brings me to Coco Chanel. She knew very well the value and the role of our coverings. As an orphan child she wore a blue uniform, like all her peers, and she suffered because that was a label she could not shake off. Later she made a name for herself for the eternity by designing modern clothes. She did it because she wanted to be seen, be special and be where the “big” girls were. And she did it with talent and skill. She used coverings to make a difference. Maybe those were her mask.
I think I went full circle.
I did make a mask for myself. It is made of three layers of different fabrics, above what is recommended by the CDC, and, while protecting me, it shows a tiny glimpse of my personality. I will make a few more and wear them as often as I feel that I need to protect myself and take a break from smiling too much.
The Full Person 